Adriana catches my eyes roaming her face. Her gaze is strong enough to lock my eyes and I stay put, forgetting to breathe. Eventually, I sigh as she speaks. For some time, the loud buzz of thoughts in my brain had tuned her voice out. But now the full-scale impact of her words lands on my shoulders and they drop with the heaviness of her plan.
It is too risky and I don’t have the courage to tell Adriana that I won’t be able to avenge this incident. In fact, my voice dries and disappears and my lips become chapped within seconds. I attempt to weigh the odds in front of her but only a squeak escapes my throat. But she holds my hands and asks me to trust her. To my surprise, my guard falls and my heart starts to get warm with the idea before my brain rings a shrill bell of panic and alert.
My face automatically shakes and I back paddle. Words tumble out one after the other in a word vomit, as I try to explain the consequences to her in the length of a single breath. But she seems determined; almost unflinching and adamant about her decision. And she thinks that I should not let those thugs get away with what they did to me.
It was hard to open up about what happened to her so now that I feel the need to cover the entire series of insults and tortures, my throat constricts again. Suddenly, I feel weak like the drumming of blood behind my ears is extremely loud and it drains everything out. It keeps blocking Adriana’s voice and my eyes only register an image of her concerned and worried look.
Flawless, I think to myself again. She is such a beautiful woman but in the moment my heart calls her a beauty inside out as my mind zones out and the scenes from my past play again. As a trick to warm me, my mind starts to play a scenario that could possibly happen with such an episode of revenge. My eyes widen, I fear that the worry might become evident on my features but the thought bubbles expand in size before they deflate to give space to other like thoughts.
I can’t seem to explain to Adriana that in such a failed episode of revenge, I would never be able to defend her, in case anything happens. I try to decline, shake away the horror but Adriana’s determination doesn’t slip or falter. She holds my face and stares deep into my eyes, telling me that she is with me. But that is not the point, I am more concerned about her than myself and I know that when push comes to shove, I won’t be able to even move a mere muscle.
