Misconstrued – Part I


Torn, wretched, and despicable is what I feel. But these words still cannot justify the burden that I shoulder, shoving and twisting my soul like a misplaced, jagged rock. Sometimes doubt is enough to make one question about himself or herself. But when doubt blends with ire over one’s fate, it ends up awakening a dormant volcano inside a person’s bleeding heart.

I have never felt so cheated by fate. Sure, I felt that destiny had a role to play in moving us, the silent and incapable, lifeless yet breathing pawns on a dead chessboard. Yet, I never fully cursed fate until this day when I am extremely cross with my life to have cheated me on a whole new level. Several things in life are bound to happen like a messy career or unsteady married life, but when things happen out of place and on the most inappropriate of times, one truly ends up frustrated.

A tight lump pushes its way up my throat, but I am still not willing to let those tears free from the cages. Tears cannot be shown to the public. So I push through, pushing my dead-tired muscles beyond their capacity and I jog, one step after the other. That is how my son learned to walk, a slow but successful attempt at lifting his tiny feet and learning to balance himself. Just as any other babe, he tripped and fell multiple times. He cried out of excitement. At the same time, he cried out of the delay in actually being able to walk without his parents’ support; something that every child faces.

But what are we if not a child still nurturing in our soul, ready to cry out at the first sign of distress yet unwilling to give up hastily. Even though we are all impatient yet we end up practicing patience because there really is no choice that life gives us except for being calm and floating with the tides of time.

So, I run taking every step one after the other with my legs and muscles craving for a break and breath almost giving up yet I run. Despite the odds, I wish to make it one extra mile.

Obesity is not just an illness but a sin. Or that is what people pose it to be. Even though lots of people tell me to turn a deaf ear to what this living creature of society barks my way yet the very next day, the same person who was whispering advice under hushed tones ends up joining the society in framing rumors or false news; playing their part in gossip.

Because when it comes to gossip and a few spicy ohs and ahs, fewer people think of broken hearts and shattering spirits. Less people worry that their words could sting some or add salt to someone’s injury. They just talk. And they talk for the sake of fun, forgetting that tomorrow could end up subjecting to the middle of the same gossip conundrum.